Friday, May 29, 2015

A Very Large Announcement And Adopt-Me Face Reboot.

Hey, guys - knock it off for a second. We have something very, very important to talk about. 

What? We're busy. We're doing important puppy stuff. 
I know you're playing. But this is super important. Tomorrow and Sunday are Maddie's Pet Adoption Days. Which means all adoptions this weekend are free. And (thanks to Maddie) all of you are probably getting adopted this weekend. 

Holy crop circles! I must dance!

You're right Archie. That is very, very, very good news. Did we mention how awesome Maddie's Fund is? If you haven't heard of them, you should. But back to the subject at hand...

I'm listening...
Thank you, Muffy, for being such a good listener. Back to the subject: we need you all to do your best this weekend. We already know all of our dogs are made of awesome. But with so many folks here and so many eyes on you, we need you to communicate it to them. You need to develop an Adopt-Me face. 

Like this? 
Yes, like that. Perfect, Muffy. Perfect. Go to the head of the class. Can someone else try? First impressions are everything. I need to see some smiles. 

Oh, Mr. Wigglesworth. Oh, no. Not quite what we were thinking. It definitely portrays your intention but, well, it looks a little like desperation. Very strange, doughy desperation...

I could lurf you. I could lurf you forever. Particularly if you have cookies. 
That's great, Flash! The smile, the sideways tongue, the 'I'm totally ready to hang out and go hiking and just love you' squint. Nicely played, big man. Anyone else? 

What about my smoosh-face smile? 
Nice Clyde! Very, very nice. Yes, you look like a hairy little alien but you look like the adorable hairy little alien love-sponge of our dreams. While we're doing this we should also mention what folks need to bring when they come in this weekend. Which is basically their ID, everyone in the family and the resident dogs if they're coming in to adopt a dog. Easy enough, right? 

Easy-peasy. Heeeellllooo, America! I'm YOUR dog!
Less tongue, more face Watson. But aside from that, golden. Definitely on the right track.  

Anyhoo, they'll also need to bring a leash and collar for pooches or a carrier for other pets. No worries if you don't have them - we have an awesome pet store here that can hook you up. 

I need you more than anyone has ever needed anything. Ever. 
Wow. Polly that might be a little too....intense. We know you're eager but can you tone it down a bit? You look like you're trying a Jedi mind trick. 

I lurf you. Hug me? 
Much better. Way better. Miles better. 

All four of our locations will be open on Saturday with plenty o' pets ready to meet you with their Adopt-Me faces. 

I'm all yours! Let's play! Bring cookies! 
Brilliant, Capone. Really brilliant.

Some of our Neighborhood Adoption Centers will be closed on Sunday so make sure you watch our Facebook for updates. 

Our goal is to empty to empty the shelters so we need all you wonderful pet-wantin' people to come in and adopt for FREE. 

If you aren't ready for a pet, spread the word: tell a friend, a coworker, the lonely woman who lives downstairs - everyone. And follow our Instagram and Twitter for real time updates as we empty the shelter!

And no, Mr. Wigglesworth. You're not there yet. Keep working on your Adopt-Me face. You'll get there. I promise.

Sorry. Better? 
There you go..

All of these amaze-balls pooches (as well as our army of awesome kitties) are waiting to meet you. See you tomorrow!

Tuesday, May 26, 2015

Kittens Are From Hell.

Kitten season is upon us. As veritable tsunamis of the tiny fuzzies are washing up on our adoption floor, it's very easy for potential adopters to overlook our amazing adult cats. We know kittens are so tiny, so adorable, so innocent looking. We know that makes it hard to remember that kittens are also instruments of mass destruction. Will they grow out of it? Of course. Is it manageable? Very much so. But will they ruin your life for a while? We said about it puppies and we will say it again about kittens: a resounding yes. They will ruin your life for a while. 

We love you all very much, potential adopter people who might be reading this. We adore you. We very much want you to cross our doors and meet our amazing animals and be in awe of our awesome, fun, cool Animal Community Center. We just want to issue a friendly reminder that when you do, you might want to look at some adult cats as well. 

Exhibit A: House Manners

Kitten: Shreds More Than A Metal Band

After I'm done with this I'm going to add some  fringe to those jeans for you...
There is no such thing as a cat toy. To be more succinct, there is no such thing as NOT a cat toy. Your favorite Ikea curtains? A rock climbing wall.  Grandma Elsie's heirloom figurines of milkmaids? Air hockey pucks. That rug you brought back from your backpacking trip in Turkey? Forget it, just forget it. Yes, they grow out of it and yes, you can kitten-proof your home but good gracious, the work. You're better off just moving to a padded cell until they're old enough to be civilized.

Cat: Appreciates Activity Specific Equipment

Behold my perfect, non-destructive behavior. Stand in awe.
This is Bunny. See Bunny scratching on her scratching post? That's because Bunny, like you, knows there's a time and place for certain things. You don't use a power drill to eat spaghetti and Bunny doesn't scratch on the sofa. And if she does by accident, you show her what she's supposed to be doing once or twice and she's got it. Why? Because she's old enough to have a better attention span than a doorknob. Three cheers for reaching  the age of reason!

Exhibit B: Sleeping Habits.

Kitten: More Adept At Nocturnal Assaults Than The Navy SEALS.

There is a void in my soul that only the taste of toes can fill...
Do you want to know why this kitten looks possessed? Because she can't wait to try and eat your toes. And do you know when the best time to eat toes is? 2 AM. 2 AM is prime toe eating time. Why? Because you're asleep. This kitten is champin' at the bit to hear you start snoring so she can launch a sneak attack. Why? Because that is what kittens do.

Cat: Views Sleeping As An Olympic Sport, Practices Often

Shouldn't we be shuffling off to bed about now? 

It's 11:10 and Jacq is ten minutes late for his 11:00 AM nap. He's late because his 9:30 nap ran late. He's resting up to hang out with you for a while when you get home - watch some TV, maybe bat the feather around if you feel so inclined - but then he's totally down for bedtime. Why? Because he loves sleep. And he knows you feel your best when you're well rested. Feeling your best is very, very important to Jacq so he works hard at that getting-enough-rest thing. He has no problem letting you sleep. Unless you're late putting his breakfast down.  Then all bets are off. 

Exhibit C: Table Manners

Kittens: Eat Like Drunks At A Vegas Buffet

Aim for the piehole, Junior. Aim for the piehole.

Food: it's not just for eating. It's for splashing, rolling, throwing, face dunking - all sorts of awesome stuff. Puppies might finger paint in poop but kittens get right in the mix by making their own masterpieces with sticky, fishy kitten-food mush. Masterpieces that will get tracked across your carpet. Masterpieces that will leave sticky kitten-paw prints on the remnants of Grandma Elsie's poor milkmaid figurines when you find them on the floor. Ever try to wash a sticky kitten? Have fun with that. We'd rather wrestle an angry hippo. 

Cat: Exhibits Healthy Appetite But Has Downton Abbey Table Manners.

Gimme gimme gimme - and I will delicately enjoy it..

If cats had thumbs, they would want the full complement of utensils. A spoon for the fish shaped kibble. A separate fork for the little round ones. A special, flatter one for the canned. And cloth napkins, of course. No need to leave your dining area looking like a blast zone when all that deliciousness can be savored and enjoyed. Just make sure you put it down on time. In addition to being delicate with their dining habits, cats also are punctual. We appreciate that about them. 

Should you decide that you can't resist the misbehavin' little furballs, keep an eye on our website to see which ones are available. If you decide you adore kittens but have commitment issues, we are always in need of kitten foster homes.  If you've seen the light and are now ready to meet the amazing adult cat of your dreams, we have plenty of those that are as eager to see your smiling face as we are. 

Whatever you decide, remember this weekend is Maddie's Pet Adoption Days and all adoptions on Saturday, 5/30 and Sunday, 5/31 are FREE FREE FREE. Our goal is to empty the shelter. Weren't you thinking of adopting? 

Fantastic. We'll see you there. 

And we will be waiting here to jump on your head and scare the snot out of you. 

Friday, May 15, 2015

This Cat Is Sure To Be In Your Range...

 Let’s take a moment to focus on one cat. Just one. 
His name is Ranger and he will destroy your soul with his…
...legs in the air?

Ranger, please, I’m trying to show off your beauty and grace and…

you’re going to do that right now? Honestly Ranger…

Okay that’s better. Focus. Show the people how incredible you are.

Are you listening to me?

Strike a pose...

Shhh, they don’t want to hear about how you drool after a prolonged scratching session! Or maybe they do? It’s very zombie-esque and zombies are cool, right?

So the cat’s out of the bag. He drools. A lot. But it’s totally precious and then you get to do this…

Aww wiping his little cat chin.

And then sometimes a cat must stop and give "paws" to reflect on life.

Ranger is the full package. He's got that orange coat that reminds you of Kraft mac and cheese and white highlights that pop. Ranger likes weaving and rubbing between legs like an impatient driver during rush hour. Yeah, he's old school in that regard. And if he can, he'll hop right into your lap and turn up that Purr-dora radio. He also enjoys having conversations with you. Oh yes, he'll meow at you for affections...

What's the hold up? Get in your car and adopt this guy already! Did I mention he's only two bucks?
You heard me, two dollars. That's nothing comparable to all the joy and comedy, this firecracker would provide. I'll get off my soap box now. 
One more time, Ranger

Ps. Our "Two Buck Chuck" promotion extends to all our cats 6 years and older! Now through May 28th our more ma-ture cats are $2! Check them out cats, cats, more cats!

Tuesday, May 12, 2015

Puppies Are Evil.

Yes, they are so stinkin' cute. We know that. We also know that we have a passel of them that will be up for adoption in a few days. But before you get all in a kerfluffle over bringing home a puppy, we want to make sure we've warned you - really, really, thoroughly warned you - that through no fault of their own puppies are made of evil. Do they grow out of it? Yup, with some training. Are they going to ruin your life? Yup, for a while. 

Don't get us wrong; we want to see your smiling faces. Please come in. We are so excited to show you our awesome facility and introduce you to our amazing pets. But before you step to the desk about those puppies, we have to show you the evidence. 

Exhibit A: Bathroom Habits

Puppy: Fingerpaints in Own Poop.

It's like a Picasso. But smelly and on your couch.
The only thing more satisfying than pooping in new, exciting and highly inconvenient places is the chance to smoosh your paws in it and then wander across the room. Preferably over carpet and dry-clean only fabrics.

Adult: Has The Same Horror of Her Own Waste That You Do.

Must we even talk about poo? Let's talk about flowers. 
Donatella is housebroken. She doesn't want to be in the same house with her poo, let alone touch it. In fact, after it's done she'll tactfully look away while you pick it up. 

Exhibit B: Eating Habits

Puppy: Feeding Area Has A Debris Field Roughly The Size Of Lincoln, Nebraska.

Guess what's in your shoe? Hint: It looks and smells EXACTLY like half chewed kibble.

Why just eat food when you can stick your whole face in, roll in it, tip it over, dump it on your littermates and scatter kibble like confetti? Ever stepped in canned food in bare feet? Nothing like the squish of puppy goulash between your toes. 

Adult: Believes The Best Place For Food Is In Her Belly

You, cookie - get in my belly!

No one gets as excited by a good snack as Chicadee does. Beefy bits, dry cookies, a nice bowl of kibble or canned - she's on it. Literally on it as in, chews it, swallows it and moves on. She'll even lick the bowl clean so you don't have to worry about ants or anything. She's certainly not going to waste it by chucking it hither and thou. Let's not be uncivilized. 

Exhibit C: Sleeping Habits

Puppy: Sleeps In Twenty Minute Re-Charge Sessions During The Day, Parties All Night.

Here's a pose you won't see after 9 PM....
Like sharing a house with an incontinent frat boy, puppies are going to make sure you don't get to sleep through the night. Instead of beer pong it's whining to be let up on the bed, crying to be taken off the bed,  chewing your toes while they're in the bed or peeing on the pillow. Stop by Starbucks and stock up on the jet-fuel blend - you're going to need it. 

Adult: Doesn't Need A Tempurpedic To Be Out For Eight Hours

Is it naptime yet?
You feel your best and do your best when you get enough sleep and Kermit appreciates that. That's why when you're asleep, he's asleep. Heck, he's even asleep if you're busy doing something else. Kermit loves you and he's mature enough to know that taking care of you means letting you get your rest. Plenty of time to party during the day. 

Obviously there are two conclusions that can be drawn from the evidence:

1) Our adult dogs are awesome. They're waaaaaay more awesome and easier than puppies.
2) You need to come in to visit us and decide for yourself. 

Should you decide you're still interested in the furry little demon spawn, keep an eye on our website. As soon as they're ready for new homes they'll be posted. Should you decide you're interested in one of our awesome adult dogs, pop in right now. Regardless of your choice (evil puppy or wonderful adult dog) we'll be happy to see you.

And we won't poop in your shoes. Though we can't make that promise for the puppies. 


Friday, May 8, 2015

B-old And Fabulous!

Did you know you can't spell bold without old? Darn tooting young things. Old is fabulous. Everything gets better as you age. What? You don't believe me. Take an age old saying - "I'm like a fine wine. I mature with age".

All our cats over 6 years old are just $2 dollars to adopt from May 8th-10th! So let's celebrate our elders!

Seriously? Older is better. Remember growing up with that older sibling? Quiet only children, we're pretending we all had siblings growing up. Or fine, if you didn't have an older brother or sister, how 'bout that older cool kid you always admired. You know what I'm talking about. They always were ahead of the curve, while you were still learning things. You know how they did that? They got older than you! Age, for the win!

This is Drake. He's pretty darn cool and ma-ture!

Does anyone remember how old Gandalf was? He was like 2,000 years old, ancient, and a sick wizard. Do you think that happens over night? Nope. He took his sweet years learning and became Gandalf the White over time.

Cracker Jack is like "One day I shall have a long wizard beard."

I will never forget the comeback of all lady celebrity comebacks, you know her name. It's Demi Moore...The woman that inspired almost all ladies in the '90s to shave their heads G.I. Jane style, and start doing push ups with our beds. Yes, she is a goddess, amazing, and absolutely unstoppable. Did anyone see how fierce she looked in "Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle"? And I know it was temporary, but she locked down Ashton Kutcher for a good six years. Props to this woman.

Abby's ready for her forever home comeback!

I couldn't write this blog without acknowledging the one, the only, the "Terminator". Mr. Arnold Schwarzannergarhththeerrrrr. Sorry the struggle to spell his last name is real, but his ambition is stronger. This man not only became Mr. Universe at 20, but he also stole the spotlight as the go-to male action lead in almost anything explosion packed from the late '80s into the '00s. And did I mention he became the governor of California and he's still making movies? Action movies! "Terminator Genisys" and "The Legend of Conan" are on the horizon. This man is force to be reckoned with and he proves getting older is sweet because it lets you brag about all your achievements.

Tyler is ready to be the starring role in your home! *Wink*

This can't be a blog about our more refined cats without acknowledging, dadbod. You've heard it whispered throughout the internets. Well, at this point, it's more a shout. If you haven't heard, dadbod is that squishy, love-handle possessing body type, generally our patriarchs gather over their years of dad-ness. Here in the shelter, we have something called shelterbod. It's that pudgy, getting rounder, neck roll body, our cats tend to develop when they sit in our shelter. And we are here to celebrate shelterbod at it's finest...

Sunkiss knows there's more of her to love.

Let's just end this with a haiku:

Purr purr purr purr purr
Take me home with you me-ow
 Seriously now

If you'd like to view all of our cats for adoption, feel free to check out our website.