Sunday, July 20, 2014

Cersei's Cat Diary

May 10, 2014

I seem to have arrived at what the humans are calling an "animal shelter."  The smells are, in a word: overpowering.  After an extremely bumpy ride in the portable jail, an unfamiliar human placed me in a tiny room with an incredibly annoying upstairs neighbor who is constantly crunching food and moving about.  I assume there has been some kind of mistake.  The humans here must not realize who I am or I would be in a very different situation.  Obviously, they are too ignorant to recognize royalty when it meows in their face.

May 20, 2014

Ten days later and I have heard whispers from the humans that my beloved people have not come for me.  I am feeling a little uneasy.  I am unsure as to what lies ahead but I have a feeling I am not going to like it.

May 21, 2014

I am completely appalled!  The humans wearing pajamas and gloves have violated me!  They held me.  They looked in my ears.  They put their fingers in my mouth!  I simply cannot take all this manhandling!  The human with the clipboard said I needed a "dental."  But I told her, "YOU need a dental!!"  I don't even know what a dental is, but I was so upset, I didn't even care.  If I see those baggy-clothed humans again, I will simply lose it!

May 27, 2014

My head is so fuzzy, I can barely keep my eyes open.  My mouth is so achy and dry.  What is WRONG with me?  Is this forever?  The last thing I remember is a human waking me up from my beauty sleep and putting me in a portable jail.  Is this what a dental feels like?  If so, I despise it.  

Some good news -- I caught a glimpse of my teeth in the water bowl while I was giving my noisy neighbor a daily hiss -- my teeth look incredible!  They are so shiny and pearly white, I look even more beautiful than before (if that's possible).  I can't wait to show them off to the humans here.

June 5, 2014

I have trained the humans here to be my slaves.  I have taught them to bring me food and give me treats.  I know they adore me by all the head scratches and brushing they give me.  I'll reward them by giving them a purr or two.  When they try to hold me, I give them a very polite scream and they have now learned that I prefer to keep my paws on the floor.  I believe they have realized that I am Queen and are making up for all the suffering I have been through in my past.  I have also convinced them to relocate me to a nicer suite as I have become quite sick of the neighboring cat.  I now have my own room, free of neighbors and full of cat trees, scratching posts and toys galore.  The only thing that confuses me is the wiggle-thing the humans bring in to me.  It is feathery and squirmy and simply fascinating.  I have succeeded in catching it a time or two but it's identity is still a mystery to me.

June 20, 2014

Life in this so-called animal shelter is beginning to bore me.  I get everything I desire because of all the slaves at my beck-and-call but I am still waiting to get a visitor that interests me.  Most of the humans I meet are very nice and pet me the way I like, but my life still feels empty.  I am not sure what else I could possibly need to make me feel happy.  Sometimes I see other cats in other rooms being put into portable jails and leaving with happy human families.  Maybe that's what I need.  A kingdom to call my own.  But tomorrow is another day.  So until then, I shall sit and wait.

If your kingdom is in search of a Queen, Cersei is your Lady.  She is just one of our available adult cats looking for the right match.

Check out Cersei's video here, and our other available cats here.