"Peeing Outside Isn't My Biggest Priority...." Staff Dog's New Years Resolutions

It's that time of year again - the time we make all sorts of promises that we might or might not keep. Big promises, little promises, all sorts of promises. We asked some of our staff dogs what changes they'd like to try to make in 2014. All of these guys are former rescue/shelter pooches who were adopted by Humane Society Silicon Valley staff and come to work alongside their owners every day.

You want some of this, big dog?

Elmo, Marketing Mutt.

"I really enjoy finding the biggest, scariest dog I can find and screaming dog obscenities at him. As this drives my mom nuts, I'm going to give it up in the New Year. And I'm going to try and help promote Humane Society Silicon Valley so everyone knows that the most awesome dogs in the world come through these doors."

Cookies? Someone said cookies?

Jambo (front) and Otto (back), Finance Fidos.

Jambo: "Drool. I have a huge drool problem. Oceans of it. And I steal the other dog's stuffies. I'm going to try and control my drool issue and keep my mouth off of Otto's stuffed bee. I'm also going to make sure we do the best possible job managing our funds so we can help even more animals".

Otto: "Cookies.....more cookies....".

You have NO IDEA how tasty that sofa is.

Mad Max, Executive Administrative Puppy.

"Look, I'm four months old. I can say I'm going to work really hard on peeing outside but let's be realistic. I do have a lot of hope that over the next year that sofa will stop looking as delicious as it does right now. On a larger scale, I'm a little dog with a big job. I'm going to keep this ship running as smoothly as I can. The better we do our jobs, the more animals we can help. So you can see why peeing outside isn't my biggest priority.".

That squirrel is a trespassing miscreant that must be stopped.

Luna, Medical Center Shepherd.

"I'm really willing to work on my squirrel problem provided the squirrel is willing to work on staying out of my yard. If we can find a compromise there, I see a strong chance of resolution. My other resolution is that we keep on providing high quality care for the animals in our care. We save so many lives by being able to treat animals that other shelters can't. We're going to do even more this year!".

I've got better pipes than that Susan Boyle lady.

Pelusa, Rescue and Foster Team Fluffball.

"I don't really need a resolution. I don't shed, I'm small and fluffy, what more do you want? Sure, I bark sometimes but I have a beautiful voice. Of course I sing the song of my people in welcome.  Over in the Rescue and Foster Department, my resolution is to find even more amazing foster homes. Our foster homes allow us to save even more lives and transfer in even more pups from other crowded shelters. I share my family with fosters - it's actually fun. Like a sleepover party."

That cat is like a candy factory.

Frances, Marketing Mutt.

"I'm going to stop eating out of the cat box.

Ok, I lied. I'm not going to stop. But I am going to keep telling the stories of all the wonderful, happy things that happen here. People think shelters are these sad places but we're not like that. We're a place where new beginnings start and where people meet new family members. And that's amazing."

I will not acknowledge the new year until this thing comes off.

Peanut, Development Dog.

"Being a private non-profit means we can be more innovative and save lives that other shelters can't. When I got here, I had a bad leg injury that other shelters couldn't treat. Here they were able to remove my bad leg, save my life and find me a home - and a job! We're a safety net for animals here. But to do that, we have to get donations, which is my job. My resolution is to keep on keepin' on. Raising money, helping animals, finding them homes. And I'm going to get on that just as soon as I get this stinkin' hat off. "

All of the staff dogs of HSSV wish you a happy 2014 and remind you that happiness begins with a rescued pet. We hope to see you soon. 

The 12 Strays Of Christmas

Since we're right up on top of the holiday, we're going to forsake the usual blog entry for a sing along. We changed up the lyrics but you can at least hum along if you know the tune. If you don't, just make one up. 

Our first stray of Christmas came to us as:

If you think I'm cute now wait until Easter. I rock the bunny ears.

One Fostered Foundling!

Our second stray of Christmas can be known as:

I was told there would be cheese for doing this.

A Silly Shiba Inu Mix.

For the third stray of Christmas we're happy to present:

You got cheese? Unfair! I got a cookie. I'd like to talk to management.

A Puzzled Pomeranian Cross.

As the fourth stray of Christmas we think that you should meet:

I think 'merry' is stretching it, guys...

A Merry Mastiff Modelling a Wreath.

For the fifth stray of Christmas we're pleased to announce:

Cheese? I would have worn the antlers for cheese. 

A White Weiner-mutt Wailing Carols.

The sixth stray of Christmas is revealed to be:

Guys, one of us might have pooped in this box. We're just sayin'.

A Cardboard Carton Of Cuteness.

For the seventh stray of Christmas we proudly present:

There's not enough cheese in the world to make this okay! I rebel!

A Chihuahua Chomping on Holiday Cheer.

And the eight stray of Christmas waiting for a home:

Ummm....woof. Woof woof. Arf?

Is a gate crashing kitten.

(Waaaaaaittt - who let the kitten in? How did the kitten get in? Thursdays are dog blog days.)

Sorry.

The ninth stray of Christmas we'd like to introduce:

If they break out the hot dogs I'll not only wear the antlers, I'll pull the sled.

A Pretty Pibble Princess Wearing Pine.

And the tenth stray of Christmas we're happy to reveal:

Of course I'm being good! Sadie mentioned the possibility of hot dogs.

A Be-ribboned Baxter Being Good.

The eleventh stray of Christmas came to us as:

Cheese, hot dogs, cookies, tennis balls, it's all good. Whatever.

A Bully Beauty Basking In the Sun

And for the final Stray of Christmas we give you:

Dear Santa, think cheese-covered hot dogs. Thank you, Sienna.

One Patient Pooch People Watching At Christmas In the Park.

Do you know what these guys would love more than hot dogs, cookies, cheese or even cheese-dogs with cookie relish? To come home with you. During December adoption fees on all animals over six months is just $12 with our Home For The Holiday promotion.

All of the dogs here are from our Animal Community Center in Milpitas, CA. All of the little, little pups (in the hat and the box) are still in our foster care program. When they're old enough for new homes they'll be posted on our website so keep an eye out there for them. Not everyone here is a stray. Some came in from owners and some were transferred in from other shelters but 'The 12 Dogs From Different Sources Of Christmas' just didn't have the same ring to it. 

These Guys Love Crime TV But Are Really, Really Sick Of Us.

I'm too young to be this jaded. 

The holidays can bring out the best in everyone but it can also be too much togetherness. You know how it is - all of a sudden you've got relatives you haven't seen since 1994 in your house, your kitchen smells like other people's cooking mistakes and all you really want is to curl up on your sofa in your ugly flannel jammies with your dog and watch that Law & Order Marathon.

Trust me, the dogs of Humane Society Silicon Valley know that feeling very well. They are, quite frankly, a little sick of us. Following them around with cameras, badgering them with cookies - they're just over this whole thing and would really like to be the other half of that duo on your sofa. Wait, it's the Special Victims Unit marathon? They are SO in. Take them home and save them from the repeated indiginities we subject them to weekly. And with our Home For The Holidays promotion the adoption fee for adult animals is only $12! Bust out the footie pajamas and fire up the Netflix and come in to meet your new couch-buddy-family-member! And unlike weird Uncle Stan, we promise these guys won't bore you with three hour stories about that trip they took to Des Moines in '07.

My pleading look is not having the desired result. 

Deniro is just done with this whole, thing. Really. He's been tolerating us for over six months. Halloween costumes, doggy jackets and now this. This is just the icing on the cake. He's five, loves to cuddle, has a cute little tail-less butt and thinks Ice-T was the best casting decision Law and Order ever made. 

A leafy neckpiece? Seriously? That better be cheese you're holding.

D.J. is too much of a gentleman to make a fuss about this but he's hoping the dirty look gets his point across. He thought he was going outside for a nice play session and the next thing you know, SURPRISE! Holiday outfits. He forgives us for this but just barely. Secretly he has a crush on Detective Benson but would die if you told anyone. 

Santa hat, toy - six of one, half dozen of the other.

June Bug is not even going to put up with this any more. A Santa hat? Really? We're going to tie something that looks suspiciously like a stuffed toy on her head and expect her not to eat it? Are we nuts? She thinks Criminal Intent was a better show but as long as it's time with you she's up for some serious TV. 

I'll kiss you back when you show me you don't have anything with bells on it.

Tanzy has a good idea she knows where this is going and she's not having it. Really. She put up with the jokes about how small she is but when it comes to the holiday gear, don't even try to butter her up for that. Put the hat on yourself. While she finds the technology they use on Law & Order to be completely unrealistic, it's fun to watch and she RULES at cuddling. 

Oh the humanity...

Fine, just fine. If this is what we want to do then sweet Sadie supposes she'll put up with it because she likes us. She really, really wishes we could do something more fun instead - maybe go for a walk, find another big dog for her to play with - but if dress up is what we want she's always a good sport. At nine years old, she LOVES her TV time and thinks all crime shows are a-okay. Are you making popcorn? You should make popcorn. 

All of these awesome adoptables are waiting for you to come adopt them and save them from future blog entries. Did we mention our holiday promotion? The one where everyone over six months old has their adoption fee reduced to just $12? 

No dogs were harmed in the making of this. Everyone actually had a good time and got cheese and hot dogs for being such awesome sports. These were actually the out-takes from a series of beautiful holiday shots our awesome photography volunteers did. To see the real, beautiful holiday pics, check out these guy's profiles on our website.

Grease is the word...

The teenagers are taking over HSSV!

There seems to be an abundance of adolescent cool cats ruling the halls here at HSSV High.  During the Spring and those Sa-hum-mer nights (aka "kitten season"), we get hundreds of baby kittens through our doors -- some go to foster care and some go right up for adoption.  But out of those hundreds of kittens there is always a batch of late bloomers that seem to get overlooked by adopters time and time again until they reach that awkward, lanky, not-quite-baby, not-quite-adult phase; a group of teenage kittens who have grown up in our cat condos and think they rule the school.  So let us introduce you to the kitty cliques of HSSV -- throw your mittens around your kittens and awaaay we go!

The Greasers

"That's my name, don't wear it out!"

Peanut

as

Danny Zuko

Peanut is your typical tough guy with a soft side.  Don't let his Bengal-like looks deceive you, he's a big puddle of a cat.  He came to us as a feisty young dude who thought he was the coolest kid in school.  But all it took was a female friend to put him in his place and make him into the nice boy he is today.  Plus, he's the dreamiest!

"You're cruisin' for a bruisin'"

  Mango

as

Kenickie

The "bad boy" of the bunch, Mango is always looking for a thrill.  Whether it be bouncing off the furniture to catch that feather wand or exploring the halls on a harness and leash, Mango will keep you and his fellow greasers on their toes.  Just call him Greased Lightning -- he's that fast!

The Pink Ladies

"Tell me about it, stud."

Jasmine

as

Sandy

A true girl-next-door, Jasmine has a heart of gold.  She is unique and adorable and can make friends with her kitty peers like it's nothing.  Even though she may be a bit of a goody-two-shoes, she's still got the spunk to hang with the cool kids.

"Eat your heart out."

Roxie

as

Rizzo

A girl from the other side of the tracks, Roxie is the leader of the Pink Ladies.  From life on the streets to living the shelter life, you can imagine the kind of reputation she must have at HSSV High.  But although she may put up a good front with that stern expression of hers, on the inside she's just a lonely gal looking for someone who understands her.  Aren't we all?

The rest of the gang:

Miss Sarah as Frenchy

Button as Sonny

Milla as Jan

Roberto as Doody

Say "you're the one that I want!" to one of these lovable young 'uns today!  We have kittens of all ages available for adoption now at HSSV.  Find your match -- you'll go together like rama-lama-lama-ka-dinga-dee-dinga-dong!

They're Massive, They're Adorable, They're Holiday Jolly, They Are......PUPPYZILLA!

We see a lot of big pups here at HSSV. Eight month old, nine month old pups. Adolescents with lanky legs and oversized paws. That doesn't shock us. What does shock us?

I am made of lead. You have cookie? 

PUPPYZILLAS!

Ten weeks old. Twenty plus pounds. Paws like canned hams. Mom weighed in at over eighty pounds. We didn't see Dad but we're guessing he wasn't a petite fella. Not only were they huge, there were nine of them. Four of them have found new homes already but we're still in possession of over 100 lbs of ginormous monster puppy.

To give you some perspective a car tire weighs twenty pounds and the average two year old child weighs twenty five pounds.

Not a puppy.

Possibly a puppy but unlikely.

While both of these things are awesome, they're not PUPPYZILLA.

While you can definitely cuddle a toddler, cuddling a tire is generally a bad idea. You'll get dirt all over you and that weird rubber smell on your hands.

Either way, both toddlers and tires are large. Very large. And yet our Puppyzillas trump them both, size wise.

So why would you want a Puppyzilla? First of all, these guys are super-duper well socialized. They love people and were even tolerant of being stuffed into holiday outfits.

Close your eyes and remember what dignity felt like. 

For being the size of a 32 inch flat screen television, they actually do get pretty active.

You are size of Volkswagen. I am size of Volkswagen. Who wins?

They love to play tuggies and chase things. For pups they're pretty mellow and snuggly. Gigantic but mellow. Things to know before adopting an enormo-puppy?

They will only get bigger. And bigger. And bigger. Forget car tire, think tractor tire. These guys are going to be enormous lumbering Dogzillas. If you thought your socks were in danger, think more like your towels. These puppies could floss with socks. Your socks are probably too small for the puppies to wear on their mondo-pancake paws.

Look - I can fit the whole thing in my mouth!

Other reasons you would want a Puppyzilla? Because they're awesome and fun. Because they look like this:

All I have left is petty acts of rebellion. 

Because should you ever want to crush an entire city like this:

Possible father of puppies but temperament is dissimilar.

We have a puppy for you. Unlike Godzilla Puppyzillas have no ill intentions. If they eat a train car it's probably because it resembles one of those KONG play sticks that you can put peanut butter in. Our Puppyzillas have been through a temperament test and have great, sweet personalities. These are NOT guard dogs - they're big loaves of love sponge who adore strangers. They're not the most graceful creatures in the world - like most puppies they tend to stagger around and trip over their own (huge) feet. So you might lose one or two small buildings to clumsiness.

Puppyzillas are available for adoption at our Milpitas Animal Community Center. For more info go to www.hssv.org or call us at 1 (408) 262-2133 ext 150.

I don't fit on the lap. Sigh.