Cat Vs. Dog Vs. Hooman: National Answer Your Cat's Questions Day.

Bring it.

January 22nd is National Answer Your Cat's Questions day. No kidding. It's a thing. Anyway, we'd be remiss in missing this chance to answer some of our feline friends most pressing questions. To make it more interesting, we've decided to do this panel style with some of our most awesome kittehs asking and some of our amazing pooches answering along with the humans. Which might not be exactly in the spirit of the holiday but we seriously doubt National Answer Your Cat's Questions Day has an official rulebook.

As no one wants to look at a picture of a human in the blog, everyone's favorite oddball puppy Kermit will be filling in for the human in photos. Because he's an easy going guy who's down for anything.

Excuse me - I have something...

Bandit the Cat: Hey Hooman, explain the toilet. That thing is terrifying.

Toilet water is the essence of life.

Maya The Dog: The toilet? It's because hoomans are geniuses and figured out how to invent a self cleaning water bowl that they can also use as a seat to read magazines on.

I'm a hooman! I'm a hooman with a green frog!

Hooman (As Repped By Kermit): Don't let Maya kiss you. Seriously Bandit, you're a clean guy. Like most kittehs, a dirty litterbox grosses you out. We're like that too. A toilet is like a self cleaning litterbox but with water instead of sand. (Note to other hoomans: if your kitty is not being great about the box, check how often you're cleaning it. The same way we have an aversion to Porta-Potties at crowded events, cats have an aversion to dirty litterboxes. It's understandable.)

This is my serious question face. 

Tahiti The Cat: Hey Hooman, Why can't I lay on your face while you're asleep?

I'd like to talk about bed real estate as well. 

Princess The Dog: That's actually a totally legit question. Expand on that, Hooman. Why you take up so much of the bed when I clearly need at least 75% of it, even if I do only weigh fifteen pounds?

I'm Kermit the hooman and I have an octopus! 

Hooman (Realistically Portrayed By Kermit): Okay guys, someone has to buy the kibble around here. And in order to pull that off, humans need a couple of basic things: oxygen and sleep being two big ones. We love that you love to love us. But we do need to breathe and rest sometimes. A bonus? The better rested us humans are, the more productive we are. The more productive we are, the more likely it is we'll be able to afford to be as awesome as these folks and their ginormous rescue pet bed.

Let me out - I've got to run to the corner. Back in a sec. I swear. 

Annabelle The Cat: Hey Hooman, how come you don't want me going outside without you watching?

Let me out - I've gotta chase the cat. 

Clara The Dog: If you're outside unattended and you get into my yard, I'm going to chase you. It's just who I am.

Look! I'm doing my serious-hooman face!

Hooman (With Kermit Reprising His Breakout Role): Clara has a point there - there are lots of things outside that want to chase you. And other things that don't want to chase you but you might accidentally cross paths with - like cars, for instance. Plus your species makes notoriously poor nutritional choices when left to your own devices and we love you very much. We don't want you to come home sick after dining on something you found. But the world is a pretty dangerous place for cats and we worry.

I'm honestly curious. I swear. 

Mamba The Cat: Hey Hooman, why does the dog exist?

Umm.. Wow. You went there. 

Pibble Poopy The Dog: Well, this is awkward.

She did. She went there. Wow.

Hooman (With Kermit Not Breaking Character): Okay, now you made it weird. We're going to wrap this one up. But don't forget to answer all your cat's questions on January 22nd. If you don't have a cat, we can help you with that. All the kitties featured on this page are available for adoption and Annabelle and Bandit are both in our Super 7 which means their adoption fees are waived. Meet all of our kids here.

The Strange, Waddling Journey of Chloe The Immobile Cat.

No Olympian has ever been more determined to cross a finish line than Chloe is to make it past the front desk. Head down, green eyes flashing, she lumbers determinedly down the hallway, past the cubes, around the corner, through the mailroom.

Where can a gal get some decent food in this joint?

She is an explorer, a free spirit and the paltry door of Vice President of Human Resources Jeanne Wu's office can not contain her. She must go. She must wander. She must find people and kiss them.

Kisses kisses kisses.

And maybe if she's super lucky she'll find some food that's not that awful diet food. Not that anyone will let her have it. Everyone has her on lockdown...

Oh look. It's weight control kibble. Again. 

We're not being jerks, honestly. We love Chloe. It's just that when we first met Chloe she's was more a cat-shaped pile of sadness than an actual cat. Weighing in at a whopping twenty two pounds, she was more than just a little inconvenienced by her weight, she was virtually immobilized by it.

I'm a happy gal but this is uncomfortable. Seriously. 

With her petite little frame, Chloe was carrying more than twice what her bones and joints had been designed to. As a result, she had developed severe arthritis that made walking nearly impossible. And forget the litterbox - the long hike down the hallway was agonizing and then there was the step into it. 

Another unfortunate side effect of her size: her hygiene was lacking. Unable to turn far enough to clean herself her fur had tangled up in mats and she had rashes in delicate areas. She was a mess. 

Ahem! My privacy! TMI about the hygiene and litterbox!

When she got here Chloe got some arthritis meds and a New Year's Resolution: lose enough weight to be less like a very depressed houseplant and more like the sassy, well behaved kitty that she was inside. In addition to her special diet, she also got special digs - Jeanne Wu's office. And she got an exercise plan. With her pain managed, it was time for her to start moving.

And what exactly am I supposed to be doing with that?

We will not pretend that this was smooth going at first. While Chloe loved all the folks coming to see her, she was more into patting time than doing laps around the boardroom. Laser pointers and wind up toys were employed but eventually she started moving. 

And once she started moving, she didn't stop. 

When Chloe was less mobile Jeanne would leave her door open to give Chloe the chance to wander. She wouldn't go far - across the hall, maybe around the corner. But as she lost a few pounds she became unstoppable, motoring all over the admin area. We finally had to put some gates up to keep her from going too far into office-dog areas. 

And the litterbox? Pro. She was a litterbox pro again. 

Really? Can we stop talking about my bathroom habits now?

Which, dear readers, bring us to you. Because while Chloe is doing better she still has a looong way to go, weight wise. While we love all of Chloe, there's a little too much of her right now. To get her back to perfect health she's got to keep losing. She also deserves a home.

Sometime in the next few weeks we'll be putting this not-so-little darlin' up for adoption. She'll need a home that can keep her on her diet and her arthritis meds. Someone who understands that the stakes for Chloe are a little higher than the ability to look good in a bikini. For a cat to be so big she can't move is a pretty drastic issue. She just got her mobility back and she needs to keep going.

Other than her weight and arthritis, she's pretty much the perfect cat. She's super outgoing, loves to give kisses like a dog and hasn't had one litterbox problem since she started walking. She is also an absolute bellyrub fiend and will demand them.

Keep rubbing, hooman. 

If you're looking for a lovely cat and can help Chloe achieve her New Year's goals, keep an eye on our adoption page. We'll be posting her as soon as she's ready to go home. 

If you like big kitties and want immediate gratification, come meet Artemes. He's a lovely, striking guy who is all about that bass, too. 

I have perfect bathroom habits and no, I don't want to talk about them.