We have seen cats come in from the strangest places. Cats have a unique ability to get themselves stuck just about everywhere. Trees. Buckets. Drainpipes. Between walls. Usually they unstick themselves but sometimes they require human intervention and a place to be after they become unstuck. While we're not able to unstick (we have no animal control here), being the unstuck-cat repository is not new to us.
So getting a kitty that had managed to wedge himself into a drain and required the assistance of PG&E to free himself didn't make us bat an eye. Draino Sam, he had been named.
And then we saw him. And he. was. MAGNIFICENT.
We were agog. Breathless. Thunderstruck.
Draino Sam was the handsomest cat we had ever seen.
|Excuse me while I practise my wistful faraway look...|
Don't get us wrong - we get a lot of super-attractive felines. There is the leonine Sterling, whose stern countenance belies a goofball who adores belly rubs. But he has a great solemn stare, doesn't he?
|I am the Morgan Freeman of cats.|
Don't you want to put him on a dollar bill or use his profile as the seal for important documents? Such gravitas.
|But have you seen my smile? I have versatility.|
But we digress (sorry Sterling). Shut the internet down. Instagram is over. WE WIN. Draino Sam was stunning.
|Yes, I am stunning. Thank you. Now rub my stomach.|
Maybe it was his slightly plate shaped face. His golden eyes. His overly long whiskers. His ability to emote. Breathtaking. Of course we need to photograph Draino Sam. There was just one problem:
He was tanked.
|The room...it spins..rub my belly...I lurf you...|
Blotto. Juiced. Three sheets to the wind.
Draino Sam had recently been fixed and was enjoying the aftereffects of his painkillers. Always a gregarious fellow fond of his belly rubs, drunken Draino Sam was a cuddling monster who couldn't stop flipping over on his back, headbutting or purring. Which made photographing his majestic felineness rather difficult.
So you need to take our word on three things:
- Draino Sam is the handsomest kitty ever.
- Volunteer cat photographer Malcolm is a genius with the patience of a saint.
- And we have another male calico kitten who might be future feline supermodel material as well.
|I make this feather look good...|
He was also slightly plowed on post fixin' painkillers.
Follow us on Facebook for more details about him.
These female calico kittens, FYI, were stone cold sober during their photo session. The thing with kittens is a drunk kitten and a sober kitten don't act too terribly different. And they like to be jerks to each other in the most adorable way possible.
|Duck down. I'm cuter.|
If you're interested owning a feline super-model of your very own, Sterling has been waiting a very long time and Draino Sam will be on our webpage when he becomes available.