Playing Hardball: Some Frank Talk About Other Reasons To Fix Your Pet...

In case you didn't know, February is spay/neuter month. We're doing all sorts of cool promos to encourage you to come in and get your pooch fixed at a wicked discount here or at vets in your neighborhood. Is your pet not fixed? Will you be in next week? Because you need to be. Is your pet a Chihuahua and do you live in certain San Jose zip codes? Forget the discount, we'll fix your dog for free.

Unless you live in a very small box that's buried deep underground somewhere in flyover country, it's highly unlikely that you haven't heard all the legitimate, scientific medical reasons to fix your pets. Cuts down on marking, fourteen times less likely to run, etc etc. If that hasn't convinced you to fix your pet, we're going to get very, very honest with five additional reasons to fix your dog that no one will actually tell you. But we will. Because we're good like that.

My eyes - must...bleach..my...eyes. Can't un-see that...

1) No one wants to look at Brutus’ danglers. And if you do, you’re creepy. In the absence of stuffing your dog into a pair of tighty whities, there’s no way to avoid subjecting the public to the sight of your dogs pendulous cajones dangling. No one wants to see that. Seriously.

Look how I'm lying. If I was unfixed, guess what would be resting on this blanket?

2) You know those things are touching your sofa, right? And flopping around on your kitchen floor. No one wants to walk around your house barefoot, sitting on your furniture is a little dubious, too. Is that a sweat mark? Oh. Oh no.

This is just....awkward.

3) The thought of your pet having a sex life is disturbing. It’s like the idea of teddy bears mating. Pets are for cuddling and loving and companionship. Be amazed by how cute or smart or friendly your dog is. Please don’t be amazed by what a stud he is. That makes people wonder about you.

This is even more so.

4) It’s awkward to be confronted with evidence of your female dog receiving a visit from Aunt Flo. Oh look, there’s blood on your floor and your pet is rubbing against legs in a suggestive manner. That doesn’t make anybody feel good. In fact it makes them feel icky.

We're sitting her waiting for homes and you're making MORE?

5) Pet overpopulation is killing homeless animals. While we're don't euthanize for time or space, most other places are not as lucky. Looking for a puppy? Great! We’ve got some. And if we don’t have exactly what you’re looking for, we’re sure one of the other tens of thousands of rescues or shelters will. Think you’re going to make a mint selling them? Good luck. We’re becoming a more humane nation and  more and more folks think shelters first when looking for a new pet. For for certain breeds like pitbulls and chihuahuas, the bottom has fallen clean out of the market. Shelters are stocked full of baby pits and chis.

Don't be icky. Don't contribute to overpopulation. Just fix your pet. And do it cheaply this month.

bulldog photos courtesy of  © Willeecole | Dreamstime.com