Monday, April 20, 2015

Get The Ball Yourself: An Ode To Canine Sarcasm.

We've all seen that dog at the dog park - the flawlessly clean pooch who drops everything to come when it's called. The one who looks up at it's owner adoringly regardless of squirrels or cats in the vicinity. The one who could hold a sit through an atom bomb being dropped. The dog that always brings back the tennis ball (devoid of excessive slobber, of course) and politely deposits it at it's owners feet. 

You say 'down', I say 'DANCE PARTY!'.

Yes, we know that dog. And we don't own it. And sometimes we even think unkind things about that dog like 'what a suck-up' when our own dog is doing zoomies through the house with a pair of underwear in it's mouth in front of the houseguests. 

But that just brings us to our point: sarcastic dogs are awesome. We're not talking about bad dogs or awful dogs or mean dogs. We're talking about sarcastic dogs. The dogs who know what you're looking for, usually will do it but sometimes give you that face. What face? 

Well maybe Timmy should have stayed away from that well in the first place..

That face.

So what makes the sarcastic dog so amazing? Funny you should ask - we have three great reasons to appreciate canine sarcasm and make you feel better about that underwear dance your dog pulled in front of the in-laws. 

#1) Most people's dogs are sarcastic. 

If you wanted the ball you shouldn't have thrown it.

Dogs notoriously have great senses of humor. Ever see a dog chase it's tail? Do you really think that the dog doesn't know it's attached to them? Dog are natural clowns that love to see us smile. Even awesome dogs that have been through our fantastic obedience classes with great teachers like Cecilia (who also has a great sense of humor) still enjoy getting a little punchy sometimes. Pity people with somber pooches who follow the letter of the law. We'll take a dog that makes us laugh (even at ourselves) any day of the week. 

#2) Sometimes we're being ridiculous and we have it coming. 

Hey, Chicadee - sit.

Busy. Very busy. Not even pointed at you and busy.
Chicadee, please sit. Why aren't you listening? 

Do you see this toy? I am busy with this toy. Hellllooo?
Really, Chicadee - I need you to listen...

I am WAVING the TOY OF PREOCCUPATION at you. Do you not see?

Chicadee? Chicadee? Are you okay? 

I am dead. Your cluelessness has killed me. Good grief. 

Sometimes we accidentally live in doggy-utopia. That magical wonderland where our dog, even though he seems preoccupied doing something else, is actually waiting with bated breath for us to utter a syllable so they can drop everything and jump to it. That place where dogs know every single command, even if they've never heard it before. In reality, Chicadee is ridiculously bright - she's been through our obedience classes and aced them. But telling a dog who is obviously involved in Wrestlemania with the best toy ever to drop it and listen to us is pretty pointless. Unless we have a hot dog, at which point negotiations are possible. 

#3) Because they're not little people in fur coats. 

Clergyman and abolitionist Henry Ward Beecher once called dogs the gods of frolic. While it's important that a god of frolic know how to do listen and do this....

I sit...

It's also really important that they do this...

But I'm so much better at dancing...
And we love to see them do this.

Ears akimbo, check my flow..
And this...

As I'm not brandishing your underwear in front of company, you can say nothing. 

Sure, it's frustrating when we're trying to go to leave and they're getting their god-of-frolic on at the dog park while we chase them around but that's part of what dogs do*. And pretty much everyone at the dog park is silently empathizing with you. 

Another reason to love sarcastic dogs? Because we have so many awesome ones. Harley, Chicadee, Sierra and Twix are all hanging out at HSSV hoping you'll come by to meet them. They promise to make you laugh, love you and (if you take them to training) listen to you. At least most of the time. 


* We would like to mention our awesome positive reinforcement, lots-of-fun obedience classes again.  Thank you.

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