Dog Blotter II: More Tales Of Crimes, Misdemeanors and Unauthorized Use of Decorative Fountains.

Don't get us wrong, all of our dogs are good dogs. But like college kids and congressman, they occasionally transgress and get out of hand. Luckily we're on the job to make sure everyone stays on the straight and narrow. These are our stories.

9:25 AM - Potential Vandalization of Agility Equipment in Big Dog Yard.

How does this thing work?

Call received that large dog was destroying agility tunnel. Upon entering, was immediately rushed by suspect Giggle who began trying to kiss respondent. Investigation showed dog was not trying to destroy equipment but was instead, very, very bad at agility. Wrote ticket for Epic Dog Sports Fail, threw ball and left suspect to try and work it out with a vienna sausage and absolutely no knowledge of physics. Suspect Giggle was very respectful and affectionate.

Kiss me, you fool.

10:39 AM  - Dogs Behaving Suspiciously In The Adoption Suites.

We know nothing of any missing bear.

Alerted that two dogs in adoption area were acting suspicious. Also received call that large stuffed squeaky bear had gone missing in the same area. Arrived to find two dogs looking vaguely guilty and sitting on large lump on blanket. Without warrant was unable to move the suspects to search under blanket. Questioned both but they denied knowing whereabouts of said bear. 

Bear toy? Us? Never.

1:52 PM - Drunk and Disorderly on Park Bench

You really should see me Mashed Potato. It's inspiring. 

Report that small white dog was dancing and doing odd, yodeling Tom Waits impression on park bench outside adoption atrium. Found suspect Memphis in area soliciting cookies from volunteer. Further investigation found that Memphis is just weird and does that little dance a lot and sings when excited. No intoxication suspected. Just very odd little dog.

I'm concentrating on you giving me that cookie. 

3:25 PM Unauthorized Use of Decorative Fountain

It's Pibble Soup! I'm a dumpling!

Responded to report of misuse of decorative fountain in front of building. Arrived to find Danny Boy, a stout bully dog, marinating next to sculpture of dog. Suspect tried to convince respondent that he was actually a performance art piece of the sculpture but was successfully relocated to pool in dog park.

Okay, now I'm a hot dog. Get it? A hot dog! HA!

5:39 PM - Shelter Dog Being Followed

Why does Nice Lady stay close by me? Does she have cheese?

Shelter dog Boscoe reported being followed persistently at a distance of six feet by a friendly woman brandishing treats. Explained to complainant that was volunteer Iwona who was taking him out and was there to play with him. A relieved and excited Boscoe then presented Iwona with a tennis ball and apologized, explaining he was told never to talk to strangers. Fetch ensued.

Nice lady throws balls! Nice lady is best thing EVER!

You know what crime we'd love to respond to? One of our amazing pooches stealing your heart. 

Ok, we know that's corny but you really should come down and meet them. 

Four Reasons We Must Sing The Praises of our Plethora of Pibbles.

In which you realize your life is sorely lacking because you lack a boxy headed love sponge.

Also in which Danny Boy sings the praises of pit bull ownership:

The pits, the pits are calling you...from glen to glen...

4) Because nothing is more fun than a playful pittie. 

MacGoober isn't a dog - he's party on paws. 

Let's do this! You throw, I chase...and again...and again...

A toy? A hike? A playdate with his pibble buddies? He's so in.

As is Charlie Brown. *

We need to stop for a second so I can hug this toy for making me so happy.

Giggle? Don't even talk to us about Giggle. You just look at her and the booty starts movin'. 

I know we've been at this for four hours but throw!

3) Because we all need to learn to be positive and enthusiastic.

Pitbulls are the zen-masters of positivity. Everything they have is the best thing that has existed ever. 

Like this tunnel. This is the best tunnel EVER. 

You will NOT BELIEVE what I just ran through. It's amaze-balls!

And have you met MacGoober's buddy Dexter? Dexter, who just comes in to play with Goobs, is obviously the bestest, most awesome, coolest friend EVER. 

Look at him! He's the bestest, most funnest, handsomest Dex!

This yogurt? Maui has to tell you - this is some seriously good yogurt. Whoever made this yogurt was a genius. It's simply the most delicious yogurt ever created. Ever. 

Go back in and see if they have a gallon jug - I'm not even close to done. 

Danny Boy can't even begin to describe the enormous fantastic amazing-ness that is this picnic table. It's impossible to be hyperbolic about it because it's ridiculous how....

But it's really comfortable....

HEY- Danny Boy - Get off the table. Seriously.

2) Have you seen the pibble smile? Does anything have a more infectious grin than a pittie?

My smile photobombed your selfie!

Yes, a lot of them have enormous box sized heads. Which means more square footage for a smile.

Yes, yes I do have a gigantic noggin. And I love you. 

If you're going to live, live large. And if you're going to smile, do it so big that someone could park a volkswagen in it. 

If you bring more yogurt, I'll smile even bigger.

1) Because an abundance of something does not make them less desirable or bad.**

It's true that pits, pit mixes and pibble type dogs are incredibly common in shelters. There are a lot of reasons for that.

The biggest? They're overbred. Much like chows, labs, and German Shepherds were in years past. 

An abundance of pitties shouldn't make them less desirable. Seriously, when was the last time you opened a bag of M&M's and said "Oh, there's too many red ones in here, I shan't eat any of them"? Or "there's too much sand on that beach, I'll go back to the parking lot instead"? Don't let the amount of the pibbles you see prejudice you against what could be a wonderful, loving relationship with the goofball of your dreams. In fact, come down and meet our goofballs. They're dreamy. 

* We're very happy to report that Charlie Brown has gone home with a wonderful family. Godspeed, Charlie! You were a pleasure to know!

**This amazing adoption promo is NOT ours, unfortunately. It's from San Diego Animal Shelter.  Their video folks are beyond brilliant.

Dr. Dexter the wonder pooch and the photo of him are courtesy of Our Pack. We cannot say enough good things about them.

Cersei's Cat Diary

May 10, 2014

I seem to have arrived at what the humans are calling an "animal shelter."  The smells are, in a word: overpowering.  After an extremely bumpy ride in the portable jail, an unfamiliar human placed me in a tiny room with an incredibly annoying upstairs neighbor who is constantly crunching food and moving about.  I assume there has been some kind of mistake.  The humans here must not realize who I am or I would be in a very different situation.  Obviously, they are too ignorant to recognize royalty when it meows in their face.

May 20, 2014

Ten days later and I have heard whispers from the humans that my beloved people have not come for me.  I am feeling a little uneasy.  I am unsure as to what lies ahead but I have a feeling I am not going to like it.

May 21, 2014

I am completely appalled!  The humans wearing pajamas and gloves have violated me!  They held me.  They looked in my ears.  They put their fingers in my mouth!  I simply cannot take all this manhandling!  The human with the clipboard said I needed a "dental."  But I told her, "YOU need a dental!!"  I don't even know what a dental is, but I was so upset, I didn't even care.  If I see those baggy-clothed humans again, I will simply lose it!

May 27, 2014

My head is so fuzzy, I can barely keep my eyes open.  My mouth is so achy and dry.  What is WRONG with me?  Is this forever?  The last thing I remember is a human waking me up from my beauty sleep and putting me in a portable jail.  Is this what a dental feels like?  If so, I despise it.  

Some good news -- I caught a glimpse of my teeth in the water bowl while I was giving my noisy neighbor a daily hiss -- my teeth look incredible!  They are so shiny and pearly white, I look even more beautiful than before (if that's possible).  I can't wait to show them off to the humans here.

June 5, 2014

I have trained the humans here to be my slaves.  I have taught them to bring me food and give me treats.  I know they adore me by all the head scratches and brushing they give me.  I'll reward them by giving them a purr or two.  When they try to hold me, I give them a very polite scream and they have now learned that I prefer to keep my paws on the floor.  I believe they have realized that I am Queen and are making up for all the suffering I have been through in my past.  I have also convinced them to relocate me to a nicer suite as I have become quite sick of the neighboring cat.  I now have my own room, free of neighbors and full of cat trees, scratching posts and toys galore.  The only thing that confuses me is the wiggle-thing the humans bring in to me.  It is feathery and squirmy and simply fascinating.  I have succeeded in catching it a time or two but it's identity is still a mystery to me.

June 20, 2014

Life in this so-called animal shelter is beginning to bore me.  I get everything I desire because of all the slaves at my beck-and-call but I am still waiting to get a visitor that interests me.  Most of the humans I meet are very nice and pet me the way I like, but my life still feels empty.  I am not sure what else I could possibly need to make me feel happy.  Sometimes I see other cats in other rooms being put into portable jails and leaving with happy human families.  Maybe that's what I need.  A kingdom to call my own.  But tomorrow is another day.  So until then, I shall sit and wait.

If your kingdom is in search of a Queen, Cersei is your Lady.  She is just one of our available adult cats looking for the right match.

Check out Cersei's video here, and our other available cats here.

Five Things We Know Will Happen At Walk 'N Wag This Year.

Well, it's that time of year again. Time to start rallying the friends, coworkers, neighbors and family. Time to start trying ridiculous costumes on the dog.* Time to get all psyched about company vs company, neighborhood vs neighborhood, dog vs cat. 

You guessed it - it's....

The website is up and ready. To get you excited about forming your teams, we want to remind you of five things we know will happen at this year's Walk 'N Wag.

1) There Will Be Hugs. Big hugs.

Let's hug it out, big guy.

Lots of hugs.  

I know human - this is a lot of excitement. I'll keep you safe.

Even the much coveted puppy hugs.

There is nothing we say that will make puppy hugs more awesome. 

2) There Will Be Food Trucks. But they won't be run by this dog. 

Why not? I make this awesome snack with stuff I find in the cat box.

However there might be be a Pekingese singing country western songs. 

Guinness sings country. True fact. 

3) Awkward smooching will occur.

You can cancel that teeth cleaning, human. I got you. 

Lots of awkward smooching. 

My nickname is 'Sinus Rinse'. 

4) Everyone will have fun. Even the devil. Because the devil likes cookies and looks suspiciously like a black lab in fake horns. 

Come to the crossroads. And bring bacon.

We're pretty sure even this guy had a good time. 

Harumph. Wait - did the devil say 'bacon'? 

We know for a fact this guy did. 

High five! High ten! I'm a dog, I can't count. 

5) These puppies will want you to sign up.

Please sign up. We'll make our pathetic faces.

As will Darla and her kitten:

She's holding my tail hostage until you sign up. 

And Maui is even willing to share her yogurt with you if you sign up.

And it's really, really good yogurt, guys.

Why? Because the pups, Darla and her kitten, and Maui are all here waiting for homes. Which means they're benefitting from the money raised by Walk 'N Wag every year - it funds our programs. So not only are you having a rockin' good time, you're doing something great at the same time. And did we mention there's food trucks? 

To register your team go here.

Not a walker? Super duper cool exciting news! For the first time ever, Walk 'N Wag will be offering a 5K run option as well. Break out your jogging shoes!

Last photo courtesy of ©Błażej Łyjak|Dreamstime.com

Behind The Music: The Rise and Fall of HSSV's Only Punk Rock Poodle Band.

It had been a hot week, which means a boring week. While there's been lots of in-room cuddling for the HSSV dogs, spiking temperatures meant less outside time for most of the dogs. So things were getting pretty lame around here.

Bored McBoring McBoredPants....

Then they showed up. Sporting a look previously unseen in the adoptable rooms at HSSV.

There was Rufus, the handsome friendly one:

I'm friendly but sensitive, you know? Sweet but deep....

And Winston, the brooding dreamy one:

You probably don't understand me but I'll try your cookies.

And they were....

 The Punk Rock Poodle (mixes).

Before the duo had even sung one note, things started to wake up around here. Maui voluntarily got up from her bed, where she had been enjoying some tummy rubs. And if you know Maui, you know getting her to do much aside from napping, cuddling and enjoying snacks is difficult:

What's up with their hair? Kids today, I swear....

Murphy was so stunned he looked like a 12 year old girl at a One Dimension concert:

They're just so...curly...and cool. Can I do that to my hair?

And then the singing started.

First Rufus started with a long, eerie note and then Winston stepped in to harmonize. Rockin' their awesome mohawks, the two blew the roof off the joint.

MacGoober just couldn't help himself. He had to dance even though it made him look more goofy than he usually is:

Step back - I GOTTA DANCE!!!

The usually staid Charlie Brown grabbed a toy and started busting out some swing moves with his stuffed partner that stopped everyone in their tracks:

For an inanimate object this stuffy has RHYTHM!

Even the little kids got in on the act. Red went nuts with a pogo move that brought to mind London in the late 70's:

Ay! Oh! Let's Go!*

Normally shy Tallie went turbo with a twist move:

I don't know what dropping it like it's hot is, but I'm gonna try!

Little Henrietta was just starstruck, absolutely starstruck. If she could have bought a poster and had them sign it, she would have:

They're so dreamy....#punkrockpoodlefandom....

Giggle started shakin' it like Shakira:

The singing! It's like a spell! The booty must move! 

But alas, the magic couldn't last. 

Shortly after their concert, the two began to suffer artistic differences. 

Unlike The Beatles, there was no Yoko Ono.

(This is a shelter blog, folks, everyone is spayed and neutered).

But there were squabbles over kibble, who got to sit on what lap. In short the pair was sick of each other. Like most brilliant artistic minds, they can be a bit high strung. 

The decision was made to separate them. Now post-separation, both are thriving in separate quarters and have elected to pursue careers as solo artists. Rufus is available through a foster home and Winston is at our Milpitas Animal Community Center. 

If you're interested in adopting a piece of musical animal shelter history and sharing your life with a punk rock poodle or any of our awesome dogs, check out our website.

* We know the Ramones are an American, not a British band.