May 10, 2014
I seem to have arrived at what the humans are calling an "animal shelter." The smells are, in a word: overpowering. After an extremely bumpy ride in the portable jail, an unfamiliar human placed me in a tiny room with an incredibly annoying upstairs neighbor who is constantly crunching food and moving about. I assume there has been some kind of mistake. The humans here must not realize who I am or I would be in a very different situation. Obviously, they are too ignorant to recognize royalty when it meows in their face.
May 20, 2014
Ten days later and I have heard whispers from the humans that my beloved people have not come for me. I am feeling a little uneasy. I am unsure as to what lies ahead but I have a feeling I am not going to like it.
May 21, 2014
I am completely appalled! The humans wearing pajamas and gloves have violated me! They held me. They looked in my ears. They put their fingers in my mouth! I simply cannot take all this manhandling! The human with the clipboard said I needed a "dental." But I told her, "YOU need a dental!!" I don't even know what a dental is, but I was so upset, I didn't even care. If I see those baggy-clothed humans again, I will simply lose it!
May 27, 2014
My head is so fuzzy, I can barely keep my eyes open. My mouth is so achy and dry. What is WRONG with me? Is this forever? The last thing I remember is a human waking me up from my beauty sleep and putting me in a portable jail. Is this what a dental feels like? If so, I despise it.
Some good news -- I caught a glimpse of my teeth in the water bowl while I was giving my noisy neighbor a daily hiss -- my teeth look incredible! They are so shiny and pearly white, I look even more beautiful than before (if that's possible). I can't wait to show them off to the humans here.
June 5, 2014
I have trained the humans here to be my slaves. I have taught them to bring me food and give me treats. I know they adore me by all the head scratches and brushing they give me. I'll reward them by giving them a purr or two. When they try to hold me, I give them a very polite scream and they have now learned that I prefer to keep my paws on the floor. I believe they have realized that I am Queen and are making up for all the suffering I have been through in my past. I have also convinced them to relocate me to a nicer suite as I have become quite sick of the neighboring cat. I now have my own room, free of neighbors and full of cat trees, scratching posts and toys galore. The only thing that confuses me is the wiggle-thing the humans bring in to me. It is feathery and squirmy and simply fascinating. I have succeeded in catching it a time or two but it's identity is still a mystery to me.
June 20, 2014
Life in this so-called animal shelter is beginning to bore me. I get everything I desire because of all the slaves at my beck-and-call but I am still waiting to get a visitor that interests me. Most of the humans I meet are very nice and pet me the way I like, but my life still feels empty. I am not sure what else I could possibly need to make me feel happy. Sometimes I see other cats in other rooms being put into portable jails and leaving with happy human families. Maybe that's what I need. A kingdom to call my own. But tomorrow is another day. So until then, I shall sit and wait.
If your kingdom is in search of a Queen, Cersei is your Lady. She is just one of our available adult cats looking for the right match.