May 10, 2014
I seem to have arrived at what the humans are calling an "animal shelter." The smells are, in a word: overpowering. After an extremely bumpy ride in the portable jail, an unfamiliar human placed me in a tiny room with an incredibly annoying upstairs neighbor who is constantly crunching food and moving about. I assume there has been some kind of mistake. The humans here must not realize who I am or I would be in a very different situation. Obviously, they are too ignorant to recognize royalty when it meows in their face.
Ten days later and I have heard whispers from the humans that my beloved people have not come for me. I am feeling a little uneasy. I am unsure as to what lies ahead but I have a feeling I am not going to like it.
I am completely appalled! The humans wearing pajamas and gloves have violated me! They held me. They looked in my ears. They put their fingers in my mouth! I simply cannot take all this manhandling! The human with the clipboard said I needed a "dental." But I told her, "YOU need a dental!!" I don't even know what a dental is, but I was so upset, I didn't even care. If I see those baggy-clothed humans again, I will simply lose it!
May 27, 2014
My head is so fuzzy, I can barely keep my eyes open. My mouth is so achy and dry. What is WRONG with me? Is this forever? The last thing I remember is a human waking me up from my beauty sleep and putting me in a portable jail. Is this what a dental feels like? If so, I despise it.
Some good news -- I caught a glimpse of my teeth in the water bowl while I was giving my noisy neighbor a daily hiss -- my teeth look incredible! They are so shiny and pearly white, I look even more beautiful than before (if that's possible). I can't wait to show them off to the humans here.
June 5, 2014
I have trained the humans here to be my slaves. I have taught them to bring me food and give me treats. I know they adore me by all the head scratches and brushing they give me. I'll reward them by giving them a purr or two. When they try to hold me, I give them a very polite scream and they have now learned that I prefer to keep my paws on the floor. I believe they have realized that I am Queen and are making up for all the suffering I have been through in my past. I have also convinced them to relocate me to a nicer suite as I have become quite sick of the neighboring cat. I now have my own room, free of neighbors and full of cat trees, scratching posts and toys galore. The only thing that confuses me is the wiggle-thing the humans bring in to me. It is feathery and squirmy and simply fascinating. I have succeeded in catching it a time or two but it's identity is still a mystery to me.
Life in this so-called animal shelter is beginning to bore me. I get everything I desire because of all the slaves at my beck-and-call but I am still waiting to get a visitor that interests me. Most of the humans I meet are very nice and pet me the way I like, but my life still feels empty. I am not sure what else I could possibly need to make me feel happy. Sometimes I see other cats in other rooms being put into portable jails and leaving with happy human families. Maybe that's what I need. A kingdom to call my own. But tomorrow is another day. So until then, I shall sit and wait.
If your kingdom is in search of a Queen, Cersei is your Lady. She is just one of our available adult cats looking for the right match.
Your journey will soon bring you a "baggy" human family that will love and adore you. Once you have your new slaves properly trained, life will be so awesome. Hang in til then and don't always judge each of us human's at first glance. Good luck to you Cersei.
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