Friday, March 6, 2015

Claw and Order CAT

In the criminal justice system kitty offenses are considered especially sneaky. In HSSV the dedicated detectives that investigate these crafty feline-nies are members of elite squad known as the Cats Are Theives unit these are their stories...
It's a regular day at HSSV. The rooms are quiet and the cats are mostly sleeping. But the volunteers discover that something is missing. Looks like somebody has stolen Lady's most prized possession. Her smelly fuzzy ball toy. And so the case begins...

Cat Lobby
Sunshine Room
Lady's favorite cat tree
Wednesday, March 4

Hello. I'm Detective Lenny Brisco. I was called in to investigate a robbery.
I'm still a little jet lagged, but... say your toy went missing sometime yesterday?


Yes. That's right. I left it in my condo and now it's gone.
You need to find it. I don't know what your salary is, but it's worth at least twice that.
Here's a picture of it...

 Do you know anyone that would want the ball? Or seemed jealous?

I hadn't noticed anything. And to be frank, I don't appreciate you insinuating that one of my friends would do such a thing. Just find my fuzzy ball! Stop wasting time with me.

 I'm sorry, I'm not trying to accuse your friends. 
I'm just trying to get to the bottom of this. 
If you remember anything, please give me a call. Here's my card.

I must retire. Please, show yourself out. 

Law and Order Theme Song!

So, Cupid's your name right? I know you and Lady are roommates.

Meh. All I know is I spent all yesterday curled up in my hobbit hole.
Minding my own business. Didn't see nothing. Didn't hear nothing.

Perhaps you might have stepped out, grabbed a snack? I know after I take a nap sometimes I like to have something sweet. I pick up a cannoli. How 'bout you, Cupid?

 *Hiss* I told you everything I know. I.don't.snack.Go talk to Dory. She's buddies with Lady. 
Maybe she saw something.

 Dory, I heard you and Lady are close friends. Can you tell me when you last saw the ball?

Hmm, I know I saw her playing with it yesterday. I'm pretty sure it was the afternoon because those birds were outside the window, teasing me with their bird dances. 
You might want to chat with the kid, a door down, Travis. 
I've seen him eying her toy before.

Thanks. I'll look into it.

I appreciate you helping out. I know Lady can be, a bit snappy, but she's got a good heart.

Rm 167
Travis's Place 
Thursday, March 5

  Tell me Travis, you like fuzzy balls? You like feather toys? 
Word on the block is you're a bit of a playboy.

Excuse me? I think you're barking up the wrong tree. Pardon the pun.
But I have more than enough toys to keep myself busy.

Would you mind showing me your collection? I'm a bit of a toy connoisseur myself. 

 Unless you have a warrant to search my place, I'd like you to leave.

Hey, take it easy. 

 Let me show you the door. Feel free to get in touch with my lawyer 
if you have any other questions.

Lenny's temporary office
Administration HSSV
Friday, March 6

Hello. This is Detective, Lenny Briscoe.

 Hello. I understand you are trying to find a certain fuzzy sparkly ball.
My friend, you are looking in all the wrong places. 

Do you know who stole it?

Think tropical island and you've got your culprit. Wink.

Did you just say "wink"?

Yes, I winked, but you can't see that because we are speaking 
telephonically and not in person. You know what? Frown.
I'm saying that now because I'm frowning.  Wise up, Detective!

Rm 159 
Mango's Pad
Friday, March 6

Mango, that's a unique name.

Yeah, 'cause you know. I'm so sweet.

 You seem like a good cat. I'm sure you've heard about Lady's lost possession.
Just standard procedure, but where were you on Wednesday?

 I was in my room, all day. Did some spring cleaning. 
Watched the latest "How to Get Away with Murder". Nothing exciting.

Funny 'cause I heard you know something about how to get away with stealing.

 Easy buddy. I just watch crime shows. Not commit them.

I don't know. I have somebody who says different.

 Who? Was it Addie? She's such a blabber mouth!

So you admit you stole Lady's toy?!

Well, I...

It's a simple question, Mango. Did you steal her fuzzy ball?!


...I can't lie any more. I'm losing fur over this. I confess! 
I took it! Here it is!

I guess this one's in the bag.

Lenny's solved the case!

This goes out to all you L&O lovers! I've spent many a weekend marathon-ing Law and Order and want to remind y'all that cats make great T.V. buddies. They sit there right with you on the couch. Silently judging the criminals along with you. And I firmly believe they love the "DUN DUN" noise.


  1. Cats are always silently judging haha! This was a cute write-up. We don't' have cats due to severe allergies, but we do have two HSSV dogs and they are excellent TV pals during L&O reruns!

    1. I'm really pumped you enjoyed the blog! I love writing this! Stay tuned for another episode of Claw and Order...

  2. We are marathon reading your blog posts because they are so hilarious! Our SFSPCA rescue dog has been in our family for 14 years -- a perfect dog and adds so much to our lives.

    1. Eeee, thanks for the love! Keep reading, it only gets more cray cray as time goes on!