Thursday, September 11, 2014

Make Mine A California Brown Kevin Bacon Dog!

Abundance does not automatically devalue something.

When was the last time you heard someone say 'I have too much money' or 'my kids just love me too much'?

'That's just way too many cupcakes' said no one, ever. 
Never, right? So let's start from there.  There are lots of things that are abundant and awesome.

Stuffies! The world is full of stuffies! So many stuffies! And they're AWESOME!
Nice beaches. Toyota Priuses on the 680. Taco trucks. These are things that we, as Bay Area residents, have in abundance.

Do you know something else we have a lot of? Tan dogs.

My name is Cupcake, I'm tan and you can never have too much of me. 
Tan is the most common color of shelter dogs in this area. While other cities have blizzards of black bowzers*, we are tan-tastic to the core of our Californian taco-truck loving, Prius driving, beach going little hearts. The Bay Area is full to the brim of brown/tan dogs, in every possible shade from Dockers khaki to rusty russets. Why? It could be attributed to dominant genes, popular breeds in the area and a whole host of other reason but we're pretty sure there's another underlying cause:

Behold the awesome. 
The Kevin Bacon Effect.

Since 1978, the enormously prolific actor Kevin Bacon has acted in over 80 movies and TV shows. He has been in so many things that, like the brown dogs all around you, people tend not to notice him any more. Why does Hollywood keep hiring Kevin Bacon? Because despite the fact he's nondescript, he's fantastic and ridiculously talented.

So why do we have so many tan dogs?

Because, like Kevin Bacon, they're perfect. And diverse. Sure, brown isn't the most eye catching color. Not like the flashy white dogs or the dazzling dapples and beautiful brindles that draw the eye. As a result tan dogs tend to be the most often overlooked.

This is a shame for many reasons, one of them being that our population of brown dogs is so varied that we even have some who can dance like Mr. Bacon.

Riva would have been awesome in that prom scene.
There's only one obvious solution here. 

We need to embrace our tan and brown canines with the same zeal as we have embraced California flag t-shirts, Santa Cruz bumper stickers and those Tom's shoes that don't have laces. 

I am a California Brown Scruffnugget and I would like you to embrace me. 
Forget the state bear, we all need to fly the flag of the California Brown/Tan Dog. If you're looking for a new pet, seek out a Cali Tan. If you already have a brown dog, good for you. Next time someone asks what kind of dog you have, tell them proudly it's a Golden State Brown Dog and it's the Kevin Bacon of Dogs.

And if they look at you like you're crazy, well, we can't be held responsible for that. 

Ermaghawd - did someone say bacon? 
Want to meet our cast of California Brown Kevin Bacon dogs? Toy carrying Franz and adorable Cupcake are at our Milpitas Animal Community Center.  So is footloose Riva. Scruffnugget Molly is in foster care.  Delightful Figaro, our bacon-hound, is also at the Milpitas Animal Community Center. 

*When informed of the bounty of black dogs stuffing shelters in other parts of the country, Prissy Paws made a face not unlike that of a certain actor in a certain B Movie about giant worms. 

1 comment:

  1. "What the hell is going on! I mean what the hell is going on! " -Valentine (Kevin Bacon), Tremors.