Sunday, February 15, 2015

Five Reasons HSSV Is A Utopian Society Compared To Your Office.

It's time for the mid February let down. 

The holidays are over, that sugar high from Valentine's Day candy is starting to crash and stretched out in front of you are numerous weeks without one single holiday. Shouldn't National Pistachio Day merit a day off? Why doesn't it?

For most of us, it's time for the late-winter drudgery that lasts until Easter arrives with it's daffodils, tulips and another epic sugar high.

Nothing really brings out various grumbles about the workplace like a dearth of upcoming time off to look forward to. 

Which is why, in a non-gloating, most helpful way, we would like to point out the difference between your workplace and life in the dog area of HSSV. To wit, we offer five exhibits to prove our point and make your Monday - the first of many Mondays without a three day weekend - happier. And if these exhibits plant a wee little seed in your head about bringing some of this happiness home with you than all the better. 

#1) The Many Ridiculous and Adorable Play-Faces of Rex

This is just my warm up face...
So cute, so coy, so far removed from that strongly worded email you received about getting spreadsheets in by the end of week. Rex hates spreadsheets. The last thing he wants from you is a spreadsheet. 

Ermaghawd - the play-march!
He would like you to scratch his butt. Which sounds way better coming from your newly adopted dog then from whomever is demanding that annoying spreadsheet. 

#2) Max's Ability To Be Equally Delighted With Or Without The Cone Of Shame. 

I'm a happy guy. 
You only get casual dress Fridays? The rest of the week you're stuck in some configuration of uncomfortable and unflattering office wear that absolutely no one sees except the weird guy in the cube next to you who eats his Cheetos way too loudly?

I have a lamp on my head but I'm still a happy guy. 
Max feels your pain. He understands. Which is why, despite having a large satellite dish on his head, he's going to keep smiling for you. He's going to be a brave camper about unflattering, inconvenient garb. Heck, he'll even agree with you when you go off on that tangent about how this is Silicon Valley and most workplaces don't care if you show up in a toga. Plus he promises to eat Cheetos silently, without even chewing, if you'll just throw him one. 

#3)  Everyone Here Happily Shares The Blue Octopus* of Glee.

Who can be unhappy with such a gleeful octopus? 
This isn't like the office coffee maker, where everyone has to be unhappy all the time. That one guy makes toxic mud. The woman down the hall dumps it out and makes brown water, which is even worse because at least you can add an ice cube to toxic mud whereas brown water is just completely unredeemable. Here we have many toys but only one Blue Octopus of Glee, which Chase enjoys sharing a laugh with....

Who can sit still with such an amazing octopus around?
and Remy enjoys tormenting. There's enough Blue Octopus to go around. No one pulls the legs off and ruins it for the next dog. Everyone just appreciates the fact there is a Blue Octopus of Glee to be passed around. Can't we all just share? Can't everyone take a page of wisdom from the Blue Octopus of Glee's book? 

#4) Because Everyone Dances When Things Are Awesome. 

I can't, I just can''s all too much...
A tennis ball AND a fetch-y stick? Get down! The sun on a lovely day? Shake it like Shakira! When was the last time you got to do a dance break when you got an actual Swingline stapler instead of the Office Depot brand? Wouldn't everyone look like you like you were nuts?

No one here would look at you sideways here. In fact most of our pooches would join right in. A good stapler? Rejoice! In fact you should probably break out those Cheetos that Max was hoping you had. 

#5) Because Wrestling Matches and Throwing Things Are Highly Encouraged.

You want to work out that budget dispute mano-a-mano? Maybe settle the copier issue with a good old thumb wrestle? Even take a dodgeball break and throw some stuff around instead of having another meeting? Good luck with that. Let us know if you still have a job at the end of the day. Here, however, here such things are encouraged....

I've got $5 on the little guy. Never underestimate the power of puppy-annoying. 
And even perpetrated by the staff and volunteers who enjoy chucking things hither and fro as much as Bixby enjoys chasing them.  

It flies! Like magic! 
The moral of this story? Everyone has to work to put kibble on the table. Nobody's workplace, no matter how cool, is actually utopia. Which is why you need a dog to come home to. 

*while we can't promise the same magnanimity that the Blue Octopus of Glee inspires here, we should note we have them for sale in our Whole Pets Store. 

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