Wednesday, August 28, 2013

Amicable Divorcees Seek (Separate) Families.

Look at him, he hogs the whole picture. Can you blame me for being done?

Athena: It's not that I don't love him any more. It's just that, well....

Ben: It's time.

That's my ball! Don't touch that!
Athena: See what I mean? He won't even let me finish my own sentence. I need to go out my own. I need to figure out who I am. Without the puppies, without him. I just need a family of my own. Just mine. At times I can be shy with new people but I've always had Ben and the puppies to hide behind. It's a big world. I need to go experience it.  It's great if my new family has another dog, maybe some older kids, that would be fine. Just not...

Ben: Me.

Athena: Do you see what I mean?

Ben: She over-reacts. She steals the tennis balls. We don't room together here but we have play dates sometimes. And she steals all the tennis balls. I have to hide in the bushes to get away from her. Then she just follows me right in and we wind up sitting in the bushes together. It's not...

Athena: Healthy. Progressive.

I'll have a human like this, please.
Ben: She gets so upset when I finish her sentences but she just verbally bulldozes me. Is there a shrub anywhere?

Athena: Oh please. Look, Ben's a little shy too. We've always just  hid behind each other. When they separated us here we both got a lot braver. We didn't seem to miss each other - they would make sure we went home together if we did. It's not like we fight - we don't. We just do better without each other. But Ben's a good guy. They call him Gentle Ben for a reason. He's a sweetheart. Loves to cuddle with his friends. Loves the pool. Loves to play ball. In fact if I don't take all the balls.....

Ben: Then I might actually get to play with one. So you steal them all. If not a shrub some underbrush would work.

Athena: We just need to get away from each other. I'm four years old, he's five. We've spent a lot of time together but it's made us stagnant. I want a family to go hiking with. A ball that I can chase without having to argue for days after about whose ball it was. Maybe a kiddie pool I can enjoy without him taking up the whole thing.

Ben: Don't even get me started on her and the pool. I'd like to be able to be in a pool without her stepping on me. I'd like to not have to hide in the bushes any more.
This is my 'I need a belly rub' face.

Athena: We're past the point that couples counseling can work. Two families. We need two nice families, preferably on the athletic side who..

Ben: With tennis balls..

Athena: WHO maybe like to hike, go bike riding, and understand that we're a little shy at first. Who....

Ben: I like belly rubs.

Athena: Two SEPARATE families. SEPARATE. They don't have to know each other.

Ben: She's like a big lap dog.

Athena: Please come meet us. Soon.

Ben: I'll be in the bushes if you need me.

Maybe she won't see me...

I'm so over this.

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