Wednesday, November 13, 2013

Five Reasons An HSSV Dog Is A Better Deal Than The Twitter IPO.

If you're alive and accidentally turned on a radio or TV this week, you're probably aware that this week was all about the Twitter IPO. The news was everywhere. Fortunes could be made or lost, tons of money changed hands, debates were all over the news channels. Sure, to some it seems like a sure bet - we all love our 140 characters (we do too!) - how could you lose? The fact remains, however, that playing the stock market is a risky bet.

You know what's not risky? Adopting an HSSV dog. Why?

Five Reasons An HSSV Dog Is A Better Deal Than The Twitter IPO.

1) Buy stock in Twitter, own a teensy-weensy tiny little piece of Twitter. Adopt a dog and you adopt the whole dog! All four legs, the tail (if it has one), two ears, the whole nine yards.

You better not even thinking about parting me out. 
All parts shown are included in adoption fee - including vaccines, microchip and spay/neuter surgery. Collar and tag not included. Dogs without tails are adopted as is - no prosthetic tails will be included.

 It doesn't make you less of a dog, Deniro. Don't look at us like that. 
It's perfectly normal for dogs to not have tails, just so you know. Lack of a tail on a dog does not indicate any defect and no discounts are given for tail-less dogs.

Flight option not standard on all models. Must add ball or squeaky toy.
2) Even if stock prices fly, the actual stock itself doesn't. Lame. You can't play fetch with stock. You can't take it to the beach. And it certainly doesn't make silly faces.

Volunteer Greg demonstrates the proper way to steer your pibble. 
On the flip side it also means your stock will never make faces at you but if you're that concerned about your dog making faces at you then you probably shouldn't have a dog any way.

Didn't we just do a blog about this Sadie? Put that tongue away.

They do that, sometimes.

I can chew stock certificate? 
3) Puppy Vs. Stock Certificate. Do we even need to say any more? PUPPY! 

I can pee on stock certificate? 
Would it even matter if we did say any more? Or would you be so entranced by how stinkin' cute these puppies are that you wouldn't even notice? JUST LOOK AT THEM!

Grace. Dignity. Bravery. Dashing accessories. Daisy.
4) Dogs Don't Lose Their Value. You're not going to lose your shirt in dogs. You might lose a sock or two while you work on what not to chew, but you're not going to find your dog investment went totally awry and now you have to go take a second job eating nails at the circus or something.

Wine. Labs. Some kinds of stinky cheese = age is good.
Plus dogs, like good wine, just get better with age. Nothing beats an old dog. All the fun, half the work. And you probably don't even have to worry about losing that sock if you decide to go for a senior. Much better choice than stock.

Smoochie attack!
5) Stock Doesn't Give Kisses. Sure, it can make you rich. But it won't go nuts with delight when you walk in the door every night. Or give you kisses with puppy breath.  Or look at you like this:

I lurf you.
Or like this, either:

Thanks for the cuddle. 
So if you're over all the hype and think you might scream if you hear one more story with the initials 'IPO' in it, come in and meet some of our awesome pooches. All of the high powered canine supermodels pictured here are available for adoption at our Milpitas Animal Community Center.

1 comment:

  1. These blog posts are always good for a laugh! Love it! Plus, I'm so glad I went with a pet adoption at HSSV over buying some Twitter stock. I feel giving a donation to HSSV rather than paying a brokerage fee is so much more justifiable, anyhow.