Thursday, May 26, 2016

Senior Cats vs. Kittens: The Struggle Is Real.

It happens every year: in comes the deluge of kittens and there sits all the wonderful adult cats. Animosity is bound to occur between the two groups so we wanted to give everyone a chance to clear the air. Thus in this blog we give both sides a chance to make their case for feline adoption superiority. 

Kitten: I am adorable, playful and will provide you with endless fodder for your social media feeds. Everything I do is made of cuteness. 
No work. Just look at me!
Senior Cat Darwin: What kitten means to say is "I am a tasmanian devil of destruction and mayhem. Your curtains will not be safe from me. Not now, not for many months." I enjoy playing, too. But I also know when enough is enough. And as for the social media comment, oh please. All the really famous cats are adults. Have you checked out my stately countenance? BORN to be hashtagged. Born for it.

Be quiet, little creature. Your blathering annoys me. 
Kitten: I have energy for days. You're active, I'm active. You have young children? Awesome. I'll play and play and play with them. I'll keep you laughing for days. 

Senior Cat Duchess: I'm sure you're really going to enjoy hearing that at four in the morning. I play. I do amusing things. I also sleep at night. Night being the time that kittens start going after your toes like they're made of cheese. Do you enjoy watching television? Funny, so do I. Watching TV with a hairball scaling your legs like they're Mount Everest isn't very much fun, is it? Not as much fun as watching it with someone who just curls up and purrs at you.

Dignity, pipsqueaks. Get some. 
Kitten: I really feel the need to re-emphasize my adorableness. Have you SEEN me? Have you basked in the epic amount of squee that is going on here? 

If I just it here and look like this I will have entirely earned my kibble. 
Senior Cat Patches: You do realize that's going to grow up to be a cat, right? You're going to wind up with a cat. And we are adorable too. 

Exhibit A: We ARE adorable. 
Kitten: But we are flooding the shelters right now. They are inundated with us. Please? We need homes. You can even foster underage ones if you can't commit to adopting one of us. There is a tsunami of us overwhelming shelters. Please.

Senior Cat Tony: Pipe down there, half pint. You're not the only ones who feel the brunt of kitten season. You do know it's hard for us to get any attention right now, right? And that a lot of us will sit in shelters clear until fall waiting while people adopt all of you guys? FYI: we need foster homes, too. 

I would so much rather be chilling out at your house. 
Guys, we're going to call this a draw. You all need homes. We'll see what we can do. And by 'see what we can do' we mean 'write blog featuring many adorable cats and kittens and wait for the people to flood in'.

People just like you. See you soon!

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