Tuesday, May 5, 2015

Royal Babies, President Candidates and Boxing Matches: The HSSV Pooches Reflect On This Week.

It's been a hectic week for pop culture. Between movie holidays, the fight of the century, royal babies and hats in the presidential ring we're all one Kardashian away from a tabloid news hangover. It's not only the humans that are feeling the pinch. We asked some our favorite foster pooches how they felt about this whole mess, too. Being in foster homes these guys are a lot more exposed to daily news and they had some strong feelings about the week's happenings as well. 

Princess Who-sy Whatsit? 

Kermit immediately forgot the name of the first royal baby after they named the second one. Call it oldest child syndrome (no one remembers you when the new one comes along), call it lack of attention span but the minute the big announcement about Princess Charlotte Elizabeth Diane was made, he totally spaced not only the name of that first kid of theirs but also it's gender, too. And to be perfectly honest he'll probably forget the name of the new one by the time you're done reading this. 

Kermit is also blind. This is about as important to him as the names of the royal children. It's an interesting fact but it doesn't rule his life or anything and he doesn't understand why you would let it bug you. 

I am not your father...but I would like to be your dog.

Princess, like most people, found it impossible to get through May 4th without making at least a few Star Wars references and jokes. No, the ears weren't a put on - she rocks the Yoda look 365 days a year. She also has a Yoda-esque calm and wisdom that we find fetching.

Adopt me, you will. Housebroken, I am. Children, I like. 

Seriously? I spent $100 to watch that dude run backwards for 36 minutes?  

Finn is completely disappointed that he spent $100 on the Mayweather/Pacquiao fight. $100 could have bought a lot of bones. Instead it bought three hours of watching Floyd Mayweather win on technicalities while Pacquiao actually tried to make it a boxing match. Weak sauce. 

Finn has also never seen another boxing match in his life (unless you count that time someone dropped a Greenie in the dog park) and is highly unlikely to ever watch another one but is, like most of us, susceptible to good marketing.

Speaking of marketing, have we mentioned that Finn is also housebroken, has great ears and an adorable little sausage dog body? 

 So many politicians, so many spaghetti dinners, so much midwest - it's all too much...

Kyle has absolutely no clue who the two people who announced their candidacy this week are. Carly who? The doctor guy? Quite honestly he's a little overwhelmed by all of this. He knows that presidential candidates are like crab legs at a buffet - by the time you get up to get some most of them will be gone - but he still feels a civic responsibility to learn their name and whatever platform, no matter how wacky, they're running on. 

At the rate this is going he's concerned that within a few months the candidates will actually outnumber potential voters. 

Kyle also has absolutely no clue as to why he hasn't been adopted yet. Not only is he the king of awesome facial expressions, he's housebroken, good with other dogs and crate trained. With his sweet disposition and permanently shocked expression he's destined to be an instagram star. 

Sadie is not a dog but she is supremely annoyed as she feels cats are known for being waaaay more intellectual and thoughtful and she has no idea why we would ask dogs pressing questions about cultural happenings. 

She would like to remind you that if you want pithy comments, adopt a dog. If you want intelligent discourse, you should probably consider a cat. And an older one at that.

We respectfully disagree. 

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