Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Top Five Reasons HSSV Dogs Are Better Than A Vegas Show

The Results Are In - If You Bet On Our Dogs You're A Winner.


Reason #1) Less Eyeliner, More Levitation.

Levitation, Vegas Style.

Vegas magic shows occasionally will offer a display of levitation. Inevitably, these will be done far away from the audience or only viewable in blurry photos. Yawn. 

Levitation, HSSV style.
Levitation happens every day here, particularly when Inky is around and there's a toy involved. It's actually hard to take a picture of Inky with his feet on the ground. Polite and gentlemanly in his obedience class, the big boy veritably floats when it's play time. No blurriness here. Think you missed it? He'll do it again.


#2) When Our Dogs Hypnotize, No One Winds Up Talking To Their Shoe. 
Hello 911? I smell rubber and dirty socks.
Traditional magic show hypnosis inevitably winds up with the participants humiliating themselves in ways they'll never live down. Who needs that? Normal life is embarrassing enough and you paid too much for the iPhone to make calls from your shoe. 

You are flying towards my mouth, flying cookie. 
Our dogs don't mess with silly human tricks. If you're going to the trouble of hypnotizing something make it count. Hypnotize a cookie (like Oso is) or hypnotize a human to give you a cookie. Just stare at the treat bag long enough and they'll get the idea. 

Reason #3) Vegas Magicians Make Things We Actually Need Vanish.

Spleen? I don't need no stinkin' spleen.
 If you're going to make something disappear, probably better that it be something you can easily replace. Therefore having everything south of your chin but north of your feet vanish is a really, really bad idea. You need those organs. They like, pump blood and process oxygen and stuff. 

This is a buffet, right?
Tara makes kibble disappear. And if more kibble doesn't appear quickly, she'll make the bowl appear at your feet. While kibble is necessary it's way cheaper and easier to replace then vital internal organs, the Statue of Liberty or members of the audience. 

Reason #4) Cirque De Chihuahua Is Way Funnier.

File under 'worst moment to have an itchy nose'.
The fact that people can do this is amazing. It's awe-inspiring. It can even make you feel guilty for skipping that yoga class you meant to go to. But it doesn't inspire hilarity like....

We are NOT attempting the pyramid, Lionel.
Small dog play group. They bend. They twist. They contort. They make ridiculous faces and funny squeaking noises. They run too fast and wipe out on the grass. It's impossible to watch an HSSV small dog play group and not smile.

Reason #5) Pomeranian Patting Beats Lion Lifting Any Day.

This is a bad idea in so many different ways.
Lions, like a lot of cats, prefer four on the floor.  Leaving out the politics and silly outfits, this whole scenario is fraught with problems. Ugh.

Small and fluffy, yes. But lion-like in his own way.
Eleven year old Pomeranian Bosco also prefers four on the floor but he was always up for some patting. Prior to finding his new home (Godspeed, Bosco!) he got a lot of attention from staff, volunteers and the public. Even Mike, the facilities manager, fell prey to his charms.

(A big thank you to Behavior Associate Minttu for the awesome photos!)

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