We're Out of Shelter Dogs But We Can Offer You A.....

Now that we've established that there's no such thing as a shelter dog the question remains: what kind of dogs do you actually have there? We asked our pooches to take on the big question of identity - who exactly are you? This is what they came up with. Obviously we gave them an assist - dogs don't do terribly well with Sharpies - but we think they did a nice job of showing the world who they are on their own terms.

Just look at me and WHOOMP, over I roll. Bring it...

Famous for her ridiculous grin, Roxy was found as a stray. From the first moment we met her, she had one thing on her mind - belly rubs. She also enjoys playing with her friends in the yard and trying to crawl up on your lap.

Have I shown you the one where I do your taxes? 

Haughty, brilliant, sassy and deeply loyal to his friends, Little Aspen is a character. An absurdly brilliant character. After mastering dance, sit, spin, roll over and stay, we're running out of the things to teach him. We're thinking of enrolling him in a pastry class at the Culinary Institute. Or you could come adopt him - he's too awesome to still be here.

I will colonize your lap. And it's impossible to be sad with a smiling dog on your lap.

No, it's not as silly or audacious as Roxy's open mouth grin but little Jim has a Mona Lisa smile.  There's different variations on the smile including one in which he's so enraptured his lips nearly touch his ears. Do you have a couch? He's perfect for you. And he's so tiny that even a loveseat would do. As long as you're sitting on it.

You have cookie, I have open mouth. Can we move this along? 

Oh, our Carlita is a lady of luxury. While she does a wicked play-bow, her passions in life run to butt-scratches and cookies. She dabbles in toys and enjoys a good walk but if you want to steal her adorable little brindle-and-white chuggy-heart, snacks are the way to go. With foodies being all the rage lately, we have to admire her staying on top of the trends.

I win! Never underestimate a low center of gravity!

Murphy's always an athletic guy but when the tuggy comes out, stand back. If Sochi had an Olympic Tugging Event Murphy wouldn't just take his weight class, he'd wipe the floor with the heavyweights, too. You know how tri-athletes tend to stay lean? Yup, he's like that. Fine boned, low body fat and ready to race.

In addition to our belly rub dogs, trick dogs, smiling dogs, cookie dogs and tug doys, we also have zoomie dogs, kid dogs, napping dogs, regal dogs, goofy dogs, messy dogs (aka puppies), slow dogs, fast dogs, fluffy dogs, princess dogs, jogging dogs, couch spud dogs, senior dogs, cat loving dogs, etc etc etc. You can see them in all their weird, wonderful permutations here.

But we still can't find any of those shelter dogs.